Audacity - ON HIATUS
by orangeyhairedimmortal
Summary: When Roy finds out that he has a son, he has no idea what to do. He's never even raised a plant before, let alone a sixteen year old boy. Xinder is grieved by his mother's death and has inherited Roy's knack of understanding alchemy and Xing alkahestry. Hoping to fix things by mixing techniques, Xinder does something he should have never done. Royai, Pride!Roy
1. The Ji Kiao River

It's not easy being me.

I'm a good looking guy.

I'm thirty-three, a bachelor, a good rank in the military, everything a man at this point in time could want.

I wasn't that 'family type' but if there was a woman I could definitely be a family with then it would be Riza Hawkeye, my lovely lieutenant. But our relationship is strictly platonic and I kind of like it that way. If she ever gave me the chance, though, I would not mind spending my life with her. She understood me to a strange degree and I understood her as well. We were a match made in heaven if heaven would allow us to be together.

Even so, just because I liked Riza the way I did didn't mean that I didn't get it on with other ladies. Like I said before, I am a good looking guy.

I've had my fair share of ladies throughout the years and lucky for me, nothing's ever come out from it.

Or so I thought.

* * *

I was going over reports in my office when Riza walked in with another stack of papers.

"Here are the reports from the South Branch, sir."

"Thanks…" I mumbled as I looked at the stack with disdain.

"Sir, there is a phone call for you. They have been wanting to talk to you for over two hours now."

"Tell them I'm busy."

"Sir, it sounds quite urgent. Do you want me to transfer them to your phone?"

"No, I would like to get my work done as quickly as possible without distractions, that's what I want."

"Well, even if I hang up, they keep calling you. I'm patching them through."

She walked out and I thought she was joking until the phone went off beside me and I made a huge Y at the end of my name from the fright. I cursed her for a few seconds before picking up the phone.

"Hello, is this the office of Colonel Roy Mustang?"

"Yes it is."

"Oh, thank goodness, we've been trying to reach you all day."

"Why, what's the trouble?"

"Well, it's just that your son here-"

"Stop right there. I don't have a son."

"But Colonel Mustang-"

"I said I don't have a son. If some bitch is trying to swindle me then I won't stand for it."

I hung up the phone quickly and ran my fingers through my hair. I knew I shouldn't have answered the phone… ruining my work for a stupid joke like that…

* * *

I got home from work and went inside, wondering what I was going to eat tonight. I didn't have much but I was content with that. No extra mouths to feed or anything. Not even a dog… well, a dog would have been nice to have.

There was a knock at my door and I made a face.

"Who in the world could that be?"

I went over and unlocked it, opening it up to find a sixteen year old kid on my doorstep.

"You need something?" I asked.

"I'm looking for Roy Mustang?"

"That's Colonel to you. Beat it kid, I don't have time to play."

"I'm not playing. My name is Xinder Shelong; I'm your son."

I stared at the kid for a minute and then began to laugh.

"Stop playing around, kid. I don't have any children."

"I'm not joking, sir! You are my father."

"Prove it then."

The kid, Xinder, put down his suitcase and rummaged through his coat and pulled out a letter and two pictures. He held one of the pictures out of a young Xingese girl and me.

"This is my mother, Ping Tei Shelong and this is when I was born. She wrote this letter to you…"

I quickly grabbed Xinder and closed the door behind him. I hadn't seen Ping Tei in a long time… I didn't even remember her… From the look of this picture I'd say I was at least seventeen or eighteen when I had gone over to Xing for a small mission training… I opened the letter and began to read.

_Dear Roy,_

_It's been a long time since we've seen each other. I doubt you would recognize me if you saw me but I know you. Your face never changes… I'm writing to you because I am experiencing a horrible illness and I have a feeling that I may not make it through this. With that being said, if you remember our beautiful night in the river of the Ji Kiao and then I'm glad that I'm not the only one. I can never forget because, you see, I became with child._

_If you are reading this, then that means that my son has done as he promised me and has found you. Please take good care of him. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner but I figured you had other things to pursue. I raised Xinder on my own but he has your mannerisms and he also has a knack for alchemy and alkahestry. Treat him well._

_My love,_

_Ping Tei_

I stared at the letter and read it over and over again. Yes, I remembered that nightin the Ji Kiao and I remember that lovely raven haired Xingese woman I was with that night. I looked up at Xinder, who was staring at me with a nervous expression.

"Xinder, right?"

"Yes, sir."

"And… I'm your father?"

"Yes."

"How do you know that? Just because your mother tells you-"

"We have the same face, the same hair, and the same eyes. I didn't believe it myself until I saw your face for real. I look like you in that picture with my mom."

I looked back at the picture and gulped because he was right. It was like looking at me when I was a younger guy. I looked around my bachelor's house and licked my lips in a big of anxiety.

"Uh… make yourself at home… I'll be right back."

I went upstairs and to my room, going to the phone and dialing the first number that came to my mind.

"Hawkeye speaking."

"Hawkeye, get down here quick!"

"Why?"

"Because… I just found out that I had a son."

* * *

**sorry it's so short but i just wanted to get that first chap out there. more to come eventually**


	2. Food For Thought

**Riza**

The Colonel is always calling me with jokes in the middle of the night, trying to ruin my beauty sleep. This half-assed attempt was probably the worst of the jokes and I yawned.

"Colonel, please stop telling me stupid jokes over the phone. We have a mission to go on tomorrow, so if you would please-"

"I'm not joking about this, Hawkeye!" he hissed, angry. "Why would I joke about having a son? Think about who you're talking to."

I thought for a moment and realized that he was right. There would be no reason for him to joke about a son… so he really had one?

"Do you need me to come over?"

"Well, no, but I just don't know what to do. I can have him sleep on my couch for the night but I was wondering if he could maybe stay with you later on?"

"Why?"

"Your apartment has two rooms."

"Why can't he stay with the Elric brothers? Alphonse doesn't use the room they supply for him…"

"I would have never thought of that. Thanks for letting me know. I'll call them and let them know."

"Wait!" but he had hung up the phone.

He's such a dimwit to forget that he had sent Ed and Al out on a mission four days ago so they wouldn't be home.

* * *

**Roy**

I paced for a moment and then went back to the living room where Xinder was sitting, knitting.

Knitting?

"So… you're my son…" I said nervously, rubbing the back of my neck.

"That's what my mom said and the pictures show." He said without looking at me.

"Are you knitting?"

"My mother taught me to knit. She always said that it was a good hobby because it created things, not destroys. "The only way knitting can destroy a person is if they turned the needles upon themselves but it must be of the knitter's choice, unlike other things."" Xinder stopped knitting for a moment and I could tell he was probably thinking of his mother. "Anyway, it helps me concentrate. I have to think of a plan."

"What plan?"

"A plan of where to stay. I highly doubt you want someone like me cramping your bachelor-esque way of life, right? I mean, you're probably a lady's man, right?" I just stared at him for a second as he smiled. "You should be if you're not. You're a good looking guy."

"Xinder, I'm not throwing you out."

"For now. I'm sure you have a place in your head on where you'd like to put me."

"Well, yeah, but-"

"So, I was just going to leave tonight to save you the trouble." He smiled and I could see Ping Tei all over his face. "Don't worry, I can make it on my own."

"Xinder, I'm not going to do that to you. I take full actions for my responsibilities and you have become one of them. What I _meant_ by having a place for you is that I only have this one bedroom apartment, but a friend of mine who's not much older than you has a two bedroom one that would be a little more comfortable than the couch would be."

Xinder seemed to be genuinely surprised and I made a mental note to ask why he thought I wouldn't take him in. He turned back to his knitting.

"Oh… okay…"

I sat on the other end of the couch and put my face in my hands. What was I going to do? I have no idea how to raise a kid; I can barely raise myself. I may have to ask for some advice…

"My mom said that you were good at alchemy." Xinder said and I looked at him as he stared at me. "What can you do?"

"I'm the Flame Alchemist."

"That's pretty hard stuff."

"I was taught by someone special. I'm the only flame alchemist there is…"

"That seems depressing."

I chuckled. "No, it isn't. It makes me feel special. I met someone because of this alchemy and I wouldn't take it back for the life of me."

"Is that why you were in Xing so many years ago? To learn more about alchemy?"

"No, I was there on a mission. You mean when I met your mother?" Xinder nodded. "It was a small mission that I had to do for the military that led us there. I met your mother and we had a fling. I never knew you existed until you were on my doorstep."

"The operator tried to call you…"

"Well, I get women trying to claim me as their lovers all the time. I thought it was just someone trying to use my status to get money."

"Oh…" Xinder's stomach rumbled and he put his hands on his stomach. "Sorry…"

"What do you like to eat?"

"Nothing here in Amestris. Most of my favorite dishes are in Xing."

"I see. Well, I can't make many Xingese dishes but I can try."

Xinder stared at me and then narrowed his eyes.

"You don't have to butter me up, you know? I can do just fine without you acting like a doting father."

I frowned. "I'm just offering you food. Xinder, I've never had to lay down ground rules before but I've decided I'm going to from today on. First, you can call me Roy. No reason for titles and we're not close enough for Dad. Second, you're going to have to learn to like Amestrian food from now on. Three, just because I'm nice doesn't mean I have ill intentions. I'm a full grown man that has just had a surprise thrust into my life. Like I told you before, I will keep to the responsibilities I have and you have become my responsibility. Now, what would you like to eat?"

Xinder sat for a second and then looked up at me with a confused look.

"I don't know. What's your favorite food?"

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Uh… well, what I like is something that I can't make. I can take you to the restaurant if you like?"

Xinder looked at my clock on the wall and then back at me.

"You can take me tomorrow or something. I doubt they are open."

"Right, right… I forgot what time it was… Did they not feed you on the train?"

"They had something but like I said, I don't really like Amestrian food." He said, rubbing the back of his neck just like me.

"I can make you soup?"

"Okay…"

I walked over to the kitchen and looked in all of my cupboards and even in the refrigerator was bare. I sighed and looked out to Xinder as he continued to knit.

"Hey, um… I don't have anything to make soup. I have bread and a little bit of meat if you want a sandwich?"

Xinder shook his head. "No… I'll be alright until tomorrow. I'm not that hungry anyway."

He put his yarn away and wrapped himself in his coat and laid down on the couch. I sighed and went to my room, not hungry either. My first night as a parent and so far, I can't feed my kid. I got on the phone and went to dial the Elric brother's number when I remember that they were going to be on a mission for a while. I cursed silently and sighed again, sitting on my bed.

I wish Hughes was alive to help me with this…

* * *

**so i've calculated that this is a little after hughes' death in between plot points of course. and roy is batting 0 so far on providing for children haha. poor guy. i kinda feel sorry for him.**


	3. Conflicting Interests

A knock on my bedroom door woke me up and I yawned, sitting up on my elbow.

"Um… Roy?"

"Huh?" I looked at the door and saw Xinder looking at me. "What is it?"

"Um, I made breakfast and there is a lady here for you. Your girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend? I haven't gone out with someone in months…"

"Well this blonde lady came in with a bunch of groceries so I made breakfast."

I sat up quickly and realized who he was talking about. I grabbed my shirt and slipped into my slippers. I followed him down the stairs were amazing smells were coming from the kitchen and then saw Riza sitting at the table, sipping coffee.

"Do you like the tea, Ms. Hawkeye?" Xinder asked.

"I do, very much. You're right, it makes me feel more awake than coffee ever did. Did you wake the Colonel?"

Xinder nodded in my direction as I came into the kitchen looking at all the food that was out.'

"Hawkeye, did you buy all this food?"

"Yes. I knew you wouldn't have any since you hardly make things for yourself. Poor boy was trying to eat burnt toast. So far you're batting zero in childcare, Colonel."

"I know, I know… You made all this, Xinder?"

"Yes. Ms. Hawkeye has already eaten and I didn't want to eat until you did."

"Oh… well, that's thoughtful but you should have eaten. I didn't get to feed you last night."

Xinder only shrugged. "A host is not supposed to eat before the hosted."

"Which is why I said you should have eaten."

"Colonel, just get a plate so the boy can eat." Riza growled, sipping her tea. "And make sure you get a cup of this tea that Xinder made."

"You know I'm a coffee man."

"You'll like this tea. I promise."

I sighed and looked at the bowls of meals he had prepared. Some of these dishes I knew from when I went over there and I knew they took a long time to make. Like steamed dumplings, some of these noodle dishes… rice…

"Xinder, how long have you been up?"

Riza looked up too and Xinder shrugged. "Sun up."

I frowned as I began to put everything that he made on the plate. How could I let my own son get up and make _me_ breakfast? It would be different if I had raised the kid from birth onward but he just got here. I'm making a horrible Amestrian impression… I sat the plate down on the table and then went to the kettle where the tea was. I poured a cup and then sat down. I didn't eat until I saw Xinder heading toward the bowls himself with an empty plate.

I used my fork to eat a dumpling and was amazed at it's amazing taste. I began to taste everything else and then sipped the tea so I wouldn't be parched. That tea was amazing!

"What's in this tea?"

"I'm not very sure. It's an old recipe that is in our family. I only retrieved the rest of the tea bags before I came here to you. She said that if I didn't know the spices, I could take a teabag to the market and get them to look at the herbs."

"This is extraordinary! Thanks for doing this."

Xinder did a small bow as he stood at the counter with the plate. I frowned and turned fully around to him.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"No… a host must watch his guests and guard the food."

"Well, I don't have a dog and technically, I'm the host, so come sit down." Xinder looked skeptical. "Come on, we won't bite."

I saw him come to the table slowly and then slowly sat in the chair beside me.

"Was your mother a good cook, Xinder?" Riza asked, sipping the tea.

"She was a very good cook. She's the one who taught me to cook. We usually make it spicier than this but I wasn't sure how well Amestrians could take Xingese spices. Some are quite hot even to me."

"How did you know what to get for him?"

"There's a small Xingese marketplace next to my apartments. I ask her to give me one of everything."

I turned to Xinder. "See? You'll be able to have Xingese food still."

He smiled slightly but just ate his food with some chopsticks.

I finished my plate and wiped my mouth.

"Thank you for doing this, Xinder. You didn't have to considering I couldn't even feed you last night."

"It was nothing… You have to go to work now?"

"Yes, we do. We'll be calling and checking on you every once in a while." Riza said and stood up. "Colonel, please get dressed and then meet me out at the car."

I nodded and Riza left. Once she was gone, Xinder smiled a little at me.

"Your girlfriend is really nice."

"Hawk- huh? Wait, no, she's not my girlfriend. She's my subordinate. I'm a colonel and she's a lieutenant. I have others who are under me too."

"I know how the military works, Roy." He said a little sarcastically.

"Right… Well, I should be able to see when the Elric brothers come back today at my desk and see when we can get you in over there. You'll be more comfortable with your own bed as well as kids around your age."

"If they are brothers then won't I still get the couch?"

"No… uh… you'll just have to see. One of them doesn't use the other bedroom for various reasons."

Xinder nodded and I stood up. I debated touching his head but I didn't think we were close enough for that yet.

"I'm going to go get ready for work. Knit me something."

His face seemed to light up. "Really?"

"Yeah. Anything you want."

He beamed and nodded at me as I went to get dressed.

* * *

"Your son seems very nice." Riza said as we drove to headquarters.

"Yeah, he's alright."

"You don't like him?"

"I never said that. It's just odd to know that he is in existence. I feel bad that I never knew about him. Ping Tei could have written me…"

"What would you have done then?"

"At least go see him every once in a while."

Riza nodded. "Is he going to stay there?"

"No, I'm going to have him stay with the Elrics when they get back. I figured he'd like privacy and Edward is about the same age as Xinder."

"And how old is Xinder?"

"Uh… sixteen or so."

"Hmm… Do you know when they're coming back?"

"Should be today or tomorrow. I'll have to look at the file."

"Are you sure that that is a good idea? Just letting him be with Ed and Al?"

"I'm only doing that because there's only one bedroom. I'm sure he'd like to sleep comfortably."

"It just seems like you're throwing him out."

"I know… I think he thought I'd do that last night… I told him to knit me something and I've never seen someone so happy to hear those words."

"He knits?"

"Yeah."

"He's pretty versatile."

"Ping Tei was pretty versatile herself even when I knew her."

"How come _I_ never heard of Ping Tei Shelong?"

I smirked. "I honestly forgot about that fling. I've had so many."

Riza frowned from the front seat. "That's not something to be happy about, Colonel."

I laughed a little as we pulled up to headquarters.

* * *

**Xinder**

I hate it here. I wish my mom was still alive. I hate Amestris, I hate Central, and I hate _Roy_. Well… I guess I can't really say I hate him because in all honesty, he couldn't help that my mom didn't tell him about me and so he never knew I existed. The food thing was a bit of a damper but I'm just used to doing it… He looked like he was nervous around me or something… The only genuine thing he's said to me was to make him something, which I was happy to do. I like making things for people.

I turned the page in the book I was reading and then frowned.

"Where in the world am I supposed to get all these ingredients?" I said out loud as I looked at the transmutation circle that were there.

The only reason that coming here was a good idea was because Amestris used alchemy differently from Xing and I knew that if I could just combine my understanding of Xingese alkahestry and Amestrian alchemy, I could just maybe get my mom back.

* * *

**oh dear, xinder, are you really going to try that silly mess? someone needs to foil these plans!**


	4. Odd Shopping

**just so you all know, xinder is pronounced zin-der, not shin-der. it just occurred to me that the x for xing sounds like an sh. so it's more english based in that most x sounds turn z m'kay?**

* * *

**Roy**

"Have you heard from the boys?" Riza asked, walking in with a pile of folders.

"They'll be back sometime today. I'll let them in on what's going on and then introduce Xinder to them. I think they'll get along... They seem a bit the same."

Hawkeye made a face and looked at me funny.

"Colonel, I believe your son is more like you than you realize. If that's the case, then I don't know if Edward will get along with him." She said with a smirk.

I made a face at her. "What do you mean?"

She laughed. "Nothing, sir."

"Um, Colonel?" I looked up as Fuery looked at me, pushing up his glasses. "Sir, there's a kid on the phone who says he's your son? I wasn't sure if I should transfer it in here or not."

"Yeah, go ahead." He nodded and I up looked at Hawkeye. "I hope everything's okay..."

My phone rang and I picked up the receiver.

"Colonel Mustang."

"Colonel, it's me, Ed."

I was fuming. "FULLMETAL, WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"

"Huh? What's _your_ problem? I've been on hold for twenty minutes to talk to you. So I hung up and tried a different approach and for some reason got right through... Tell Fuery he realizes my military rank _is_ higher than his, right?"

"You've never used rank before, why start now?"

"Because I was calling you with some information, jeez... And we missed the train so... If you could come get us…"

"You're a pain in my ass, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know. Sorry..."

"Hi, Colonel!" I heard Alphonse say in the background of wherever they were.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Where are you so that we can come and get you? And how did you miss the train?"

"We ran a little over on our research and discoveries and when we got to the train station, we found out that their trains only run until 6:00. Can you believe it? Most of them run until at least 8:00…"

"You can't stay in town and take another in the morning?"

"Yeah uh… we spent our last of the money on these tickets but now that we aren't on the train…"

I closed my eyes even more and then sighed.

"I'll send a car to go and get you."

"Thanks. Oh, and I was going to let you know that 'yes' is the answer to the question you had."

I smirked. "At least there is good news. It'll be a while before the car will be there… where exactly _are_ you, anyway?"

"Not far, just in Caplain."

"Alright then."

"Hey, Colonel?"

"What, Fullmetal?"

"How come I got put through so quickly when I said I was your son? I was just kidding around with it but…"

"I'll tell you when you get here."

I hung up the phone and frowned at it for a second.

"I'm going to kill that little punk."

"Um, sir?" Fuery said, sticking his head in again.

"What is it now?"

"Um, _another_ person says they are your son. Is this a new phase?"

"Just patch it through, Fuery." My phone rang and I picked up the phone. "Fullmetal, if this is another one of your tricks-"

"Um, Roy? It's me, Xinder."

"Oh… sorry, Xinder… Are you alright?"

"Oh, I'm fine. I was just wondering when you were going to come home? I thought I'd fix dinner but I didn't want it to be cold."

"Uh… well… I have to sign all these papers on my desk and once I'm done I guess I'll head home. Maybe around 8:00?"

"Okay."

"Is that all?"

"Yes, I'm sorry to disturb you at work. Goodnight, Colonel."

He hung up and I frowned deeper as I hung up my phone as well.

"Colonel?"

"Xinder sounded off… like he was distracted."

"Well, he's in a new place. I'm sure he's just adjusting and trying to figure himself out."

"Maybe… I just hope he's going to be alright…"

"He's got your blood in him, sir, I think he'll be fine."

I nodded and went to try and get these papers signed.

* * *

**Xinder**

Good. Roy won't be back until late. That means I have time to go to the market and get some of these chemicals. I would have never guessed that the chemical compounds that make up the human body could be so cheap! Especially here in Amestris… I looked at my list and smiled a little. This was going to be so much easier than I expected it would be. Roy left a nice wad of cash for me before he left so I'll use half of it to get the food I need and the other half to get some of the ingredients I'll need.

I wonder if there is a library here as well?

I gathered my coat and walked out of the house, locking the door before I left. I went down the street toward the marketplace to get my chemicals. As I headed toward the marketplace, I noticed that there was a huge library to the side and I slipped in, walking up to the counter. The lady looked up at me and made a face.

"You're new, I haven't seen you around here before."

"I'm here with my father… Colonel Mustang?"

The girl looked at me with a lift of her eyebrow.

"Colonel Mustang? He doesn't have any kids."

"Actually, he had an affair with my mother a long time ago but she died. But I'm his son…" I held my hand out to her. "My name is Xinder."

"Faith." She said, shaking my hand. "What can I help you with?"

"I was wondering if you had any alchemy books I could look at."

"Of course we do. Do you plan on learning alchemy and then going into the military like your father?"

"Learning alchemy, yes; the military part, I'm not quite sure…"

Faith smiled. "The alchemy books are down the eighth aisle on my right."

I nodded and went to the aisle she spoke of. I looked through the books, trying to find something that spoke about human transmutation. I know it was taboo but I had two types of alchemy to use. I just needed to perfect my alchemy a little more and I would be able to do this. I'm not as dumb as these Amestrians think I am and I will prove that people can be brought back. I will see my mother again if it's the last thing that I do…

* * *

**Edward**

I got out of the car and stretched, popping my aching back. Why Colonel Bastard sent Falman, I'll never know. He was so scared on the way back that we took thirty extra minutes to get back home because he was being cautious.

"Are you sore, Brother?"

"Yeah, my butt's numb. I hope that dope is happy we got what he wanted, considering we could be using it ourselves."

"Don't worry, he may take mercy and let us use some."

"I have no doubt that he won't, that dirty bastard."

Alphonse laughed a little as we walked the steps to Central command.

We walked into Mustang's office and everyone stood up, smiling.

"Hey, Chief, how's it going?" Jean asked, smiling at me.

"It's good. The Colonel in?"

"He is but he's signing papers that need to be signed." Riza said with a smile. "Would you like for me to let him know you're here?"

"Nah, I'll just surprise him."

I walked back to Mustang's office and opened the door as he signed furiously on a line.

"Yo, Colonel!" I yelled, making him jump and mess up his signature.

He looked up and glared at me.

"I'm glad you could make it back."

"Yeah, well next time don't send Falman, he takes too long."

"How can he take too long? It's the same amount of time for everyone to get from Caplain to Central."

"Not for him. He takes forever and drives too slow… Anyhow, here, I got your stuff." I said, setting the vial on his desk.

The Colonel looked at it and turned his head.

"Is that it? I thought it would look a little different."

"He said that it comes in many forms and this was all he had. Take it or leave it… or give it to me. Considering I've been searching for this since forever."

"Nah, I'll take it."

He took the vial and put it in his jacket pocket and I leaned on the desk.

"So explain."

"Explain what, Fullmetal."

"What that was about with the son thing? You said that you'd explain, so explain."

Mustang sighed and leaned back, tapping the pen to his mouth for a second.

"A couple of days ago I found out that I had a son."

I stared at him in surprise. I didn't see him at all for the fatherly type… I mean, he's been an okay adult figure for me and Al but an _actual_ father?

"That's… rough… What's their name?"

"His name is Xinder Shelong, he's from Xing."

"From Xing? When did that happen?"

"A long time ago; he's sixteen. Anyway, we're trying to get along but I'm not sure he likes me that much. I mean, I had no idea that he was alive and then he just showed up on my doorstep with a note and a picture as proof. If I had known about him I would have at least done something… Anyway, I have a task of you and Al."

"A task? Like what; we just got back from a mission."

"I need you to let him stay with you."

I frowned, looking at him. "That's great fatherly actions."

"I'm doing it because you two are closer in age, understand the loss of a mother, and also have an extra bed. Al doesn't sleep in it but you have a two bedroom apartment for looks. I don't want Xinder to have to keep sleeping on my couch."

"Why can't he sleep in your bed? You hardly sleep in it."

"I sleep in my bed every once in a while. Besides, he needs a room to himself, privacy, and some friends. You and Al are the only two I know that can do all three."

I made a face at him. "And… when do you suppose we're going to meet this said son of yours?"

"He's making dinner tonight so if you want to go to my apartment and meet him there. I'll be along around 7:30 or so. He looks just like me so…"

I scrunched my nose at him but left the building, grumbling about having to babysit the Colonel's stupid kid.

* * *

"What? He has a son?"

"Yeah, wouldn't you know it? Can you see that guy caring for anything but himself?"

Al shrugged. "Not everyone can choose to be a parent."

"Yeah; and then some choose it but can't live up to it." I growled, thinking of our own stupid father.

As we turned the corner, I saw a black haired kid crossing the street with a lot of groceries in his arms and turned my head. At first glance, he looked a lot like the Colonel…

"Hey! Hey! Xinder!" The kid looked up and I waved. "Hey, you're the Colonel's kid, right?"

Al and I ran up to him as he waited for us. Man, he looked almost just like Mustang except his eyes were just a little more slanted and he had a sleeker build to him but there was no doubt that he was the Colonel's.

"Can I help you?" he asked with slight Xingese accent.

"The Colonel told us to come and meet you. I'm Edward Elric and this is my brother, Alphonse."

Xinder looked behind me and blinked in confusion, the usual reaction to Al's armor.

"Why is he in a suit of armor?"

"I'm hoping it will become a fashion statement." Al said nervously.

Xinder looked at Al for a second and then turned his head.

"You… have no body."

"What do you mean by that?" I said with a laugh, slapping Xinder on the shoulder.

He pitched forward and seemed to have lost a grip on his groceries, some of them falling out. He made a face at me.

"Sorry, let me get that for you."

I went down the steps as he got out his key to go inside and grabbed the few things that had fallen down the stairs. As I picked them up and I looked at what they were. I frowned. _What the hell? What would he need with saltpeter and ammonia? And this much salt?_

"Brother, are you coming?"

I looked at them as the two looked down at me and I looked at Xinder.

There was more to this kid than what he seemed.


	5. Stirring Thoughts

**sorry it's been a while!**

* * *

After we helped Xinder put his stuff up, I looked at some of the ingredients that were on the table where he said he was doing something special with them. I looked at the ingredients that were there and something told me I had seen these items before…

"So, what is it that you're making with all those chemicals?" I asked, leaning on the counter.

Xinder looked at them and gave a small shrug.

"Just an experiment."

"What kind?"

"Brother… I'm sorry, Xinder, he gets like this sometimes."

Xinder nodded but grabbed the ingredients for dinner and went toward the stove.

"I'm going to start dinner."

"Do you want some help?" Al asked, walking toward him. "I may not look like it but I'm pretty good at making food. Brother doesn't cook."

"I do but it's not as good as yours." I said, putting my hands behind my head. I still stared at the ingredients on the table. "So… do you know alchemy?"

"Hmm?"

"Alchemy… or do you know alkehestry?"

"I'm better at alkehestry but I'm trying to perfect my alchemy and see what I can do with the both of them combined."

"Aren't they not that far off?"

"There are differences. Alkehestry is used for medicinal purposes and uses the chi of the earth, whereas alchemy is used as matter reformations and uses the shifting of the plates underneath."

"Wow, you're pretty knowledgeable." Al said, cutting an onion.

"My mother told me that my father was a great alchemist but that we did not have the teachings in Xing. So she said if I wished, I should study alkehestry. Once I finished that I found some old alchemy books and tried to work on that, but I'm not that good at it right now."

"Is that why you checked out some alchemy books?" I said, looking at the stack of books on the coffee table.

"Yes, I'm just trying to make sure I'm the best I can be."

"Hmm… I still have to wonder what you're going to do with ammonia and salt peter and quite a large bucket. What do you plan on putting in it?"

"Water, what else?"

"Awful big to do mopping or something…"

"Ed, stop accusing him of doing something. What are you trying to get at?"

"I just want to know why he would have such odd ingredients."

"Like I said, it's a project."

"Stop being overly analytical about everything and come help us make dinner." Al griped.

I sighed but I decided to help with dinner. I still wanted to know what was going on with this kid.

* * *

**Roy**

I opened the door and something wonderful came out of the house. Then a string of explicatives that came from none other than the oldest Elric. I sighed, closing the door behind me and setting my stuff on the couch. I rounded the kitchen and watched as Xinder showed Alphonse how to make what looked like a dumpling as Edward was on the other side of the kitchen.

"What happened to you?" I asked him.

"I dropped a dumpling into the boiling water to steam it and the hot water plopped back on my hand. I think it burned it."

"Were you burned?" Xinder said with a frown.

"Don't worry about it. Do you have any antiseptic so I can put it on my burn?" he asked me.

"Wait! I can fix it. Can someone get me a piece of paper?"

I turned and found one and handed it to him.

"Thank y- Oh. You're home…"

"I am…"

He ignored me and found a pen, drawing a circle on it. He motioned for Edward to walk outside with him and then set the drawing on the ground.

"Put your hand in the middle of the circle."

Alphonse and I watched Edward as Xinder put his hands on either side of the drawing and the drawing began to glow around Edward's hand. When it was done, Edward looked at his hand and blinked at it.

"Wow… thanks! That was amazing! That was alkehestry?"

"Yes… as I said, it is mostly used for medicinal purposes." Xinder said, getting up from the ground and wiping off his hands.

Edward picked up the paper and looked at it in amazement.

"Wow, no reform or anything… You should teach us how to use it."

"I'm afraid it's a lot harder to learn without the books to teach you. I didn't see any books on alkehestry in your libraries."

"I'm sure you could teach us what you know, right?"

"It's… more complicated than what you think…" Xinder looked at me. "Roy, can't you do alchemy?"

"I'm afraid I'm only limited to flame alchemy. I can do the other but I'm not good at it."

"It's too much work for his small brain." Edward said to Xinder.

Xinder, for the first time since I've had him, laughed and it seemed genuine. I smiled but he looked at me and turned his head.

"May I see your flame alchemy? I've never seen it done."

I shrugged and pulled out one of my gloves. I snapped my fingers and sent a stream of flame to the paper that Edward was holding as payback for the small brain joke. As I knew, he had the paper in his automail hand but it didn't keep him from being an idiot and letting the whole things burn to his jacket sleeve. He took it off and stomped on it as Xinder stared at Edward's arm.

"What the hell?! Why would you do that?!"

"That was for the small brain joke. You have no idea how hard it is to control the flames of flame alchemy. That's why it's specially taught."

"How do you make the flames?" Xinder asked.

"I use these ignition gloves. They are made out of cloth that can cause a spark and I use the alchemical symbol on the gloves to make the spark into a flame. The problem with flame alchemy is learning to control it specifically. There was only one teacher but… he's dead now."

"It's very fascinating."

"Thank you…"

Xinder watched as Edward wiped off his jacket and then made a face at the burnt sleeve.

"Look what you did, Colonel Bastard." He put the jacket over his arm but Xinder was staring at him. "What?"

"Your arm…"

"Huh? Yeah, what about it?"

"How… how did you lose it?"

Edward made a face and began to walk toward the house, throwing his jacket over his shoulder.

"Doing things I shouldn't have ever dabbled in… Come one, Xin, I'm sure the colonel is starving and Al can't make dumplings by himself."

He walked by me and gave me a look that let me know that something else was amiss. I nodded slightly to him but Xinder came into the house and bolted to the kitchen.

* * *

After dinner, I walked with Edward down the stairs.

"What is it?" I asked.

"There's something strange going on with your son."

"What do you mean?"

"I just… he's very good at what he does and he's wanting to learn alchemy. I have a feeling he's trying to do the taboo."

"_What_? What would ever give you that idea?"

"We met him when he was coming home and he dropped something on the ground. I noticed it was saltpeter. He also has other strange chemicals in there and I'm not an idiot, Colonel. Those chemicals he has are what Al and I used to try and get our mother back: they are the chemicals that make up the human body."

I frowned at Ed. "Fullmetal-"

"Look, I wouldn't warn you if I wasn't seriously concerned. I just know that the amounts he has are conducive to the amounts of those chemicals that are in a human adult. I'd just be careful… By the way, when is he supposed to be staying with us?"

"I'll be talking to him tonight."

"Okay… Just… Be careful."

"I will, Fullmetal. I'll let you know about him tomorrow, alright?"

"Yeah…"

I watched them leave and then closed the door, sighing. I went into the kitchen and watched Xinder as he cleaned the kitchen. I didn't want to think he would be that stupid but I could tell he loved Ping Tei very much, just like any boy, and I couldn't help but think… No, he wouldn't be that stupid.

"So, uh, do you like Ed and Al?"

Xinder put a plate in the drainer.

"They're very nice. Are those the ones I'm to stay with?"

"Yeah. Do you think you can get along with them?"

"I like them very much. Edward is very funny and Alphonse is nice. Um… why is he in a suit of armor?"

"It's a hobby." I answered on instinct.

"He has no body, Roy…" I looked at him as he put the last of the plates into the drainer. "I can hear the hollow sounds that resound within the armor when he walks and his voice doesn't resonate correctly for someone in there. Plus, his red glowing eyes are not human… What are those two?"

"It's not my place to tell you. If you want to know you'll have to ask them. I'd suggest asking Al because he's easier to speak with."

"Even you think so?"

"Fullmetal has his own issues. You have to understand him to… well, understand him."

Xinder nodded and turned, leaning back on the counter.

"Would you like some night tea?"

"What's that?"

"It's a tea from Xing that helps one wind down to have a good night's sleep."

"Sure. If it's as good as that other tea then I'll try it."

Xinder nodded and found the kettle, filling it with water and setting it on the stove. He seemed a little fidgety and then walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. He came back and set something in front of me.

"Um… I didn't know what to make you so I decided on a scarf since it doesn't need sizing…"

I looked at the scarf on the table that was folded up. The kettle began to whistle and Xinder went over to it. I unfolded the scarf and was surprised to find it the same color as my uniform and with a black trim. It was very well made and quite soft. He set the mug down and sat down beside me, circling the top of his cup with his finger.

"Is it alright?"

"It's great, Xinder. Thank you for making it. I hear it's going to be cold coming up in a few days so this will come in handy."

He nodded. "Good…"

"What else are you able to make?"

"Um… well… With my basic alchemy that I know, I'm able to do some metal work but I'm not very good with anything nonmetal. Why?"

"Well, it will be another day or two before you can go to Ed and Al's place instead of here and I have to inform the military of your… existence so to speak. I just don't want you to have to be here bored."

"Oh… is there something you would like for me to make?"

I sighed, rubbing the back of my head. I'm not good at this father thing…

"I… don't know… I just want you to be comfortable and feel included but… I have no idea about your wants or needs or desires… What would you like to do?"

Xinder drank his tea and stared at it for a moment.

"My priorities have changed since my mother has died. I don't know _what_ I want anymore because it's all gone. I've thought about using my alkehestry here for physician purposes but this land is strange and it's quite hard to find a good flow of chi here. I may learn more alchemy… Why?"

"I want you to be able to do what you need to do to feel comfortable here. I know that things aren't the same but you must make the best of it."

"I'm fine right now, Roy… Maybe the Elric brothers can give me some ideas."

"Maybe."

Xinder finished his tea and got up, washing out his cup. He walked toward the living room and fluffed up the pillow on the couch.

"Goodnight, Roy."

I finished drinking my tea and rinsed out my cup. I turned out the kitchen light and grabbed my scarf. I walked by the couch and looked at Xinder, who had fallen asleep as quickly as when he hit the fabric. I brushed my hand over his cheek and headed upstairs, running my fingers through my hair. I wasn't that great of a father so far but… but I hoped to god that he wasn't planning what Fullmetal thought he was. If he was and something like what happened to the Elrics happened to him… I have no idea what I'd do…

* * *

**poor roy just wants to be a good dad even though he's never been one and didn't get to start from scratch. and he doesn't know what to do with xinder since all he knows is military stuff so... we so hope what xinder is planning isn't what it is but it is and that's a shame**


	6. Fever

**this was more of a trying to be parental roy thing. roy's not good at it in this but he tries...**

* * *

It seemed that a problem came up and I had to send the Elrics away for a little bit, so it would be another couple of days before Xinder could move into their apartment. Edward promised to have it set up as soon as they got back so he could move in so Xinder was going to have to stay with me until then.

As I got ready for work, I was surprised that I didn't smell anything cooking or hear anything being done. Not that I expected anything, really, but Xinder was usually up by daybreak and had a full course meal laid out before I went to work. I never asked him to do it; he did it all his own. I felt bad every time but he seemed happier doing it than when I told him not to. I concluded that it brought him closer to the memory of his mother and I wouldn't deny it of him.

Still though, it was very odd that nothing was happening downstairs. I just had my pants and undershirt on but I thought I would check on Xinder to make sure he was alright. When I got downstairs, there were no lights on and nothing going on in the kitchen. I made a face and went to see if Xinder was even here. I looked over the couch and found him still sleeping, wrapped in his blanket.

I was a little disappointed that I wouldn't get food but he deserved a goodnight of sleep like anyone else did. I turned to leave but I turned back, looking back at him. He was sweating and seemed quite uncomfortable, so I put my hand on his forehead, finding it extremely warm. I frowned and went to my bathroom to find my thermometer. I washed it off and went back to put it in Xinder's mouth, which made him open his eyes.

"Colonel…" he said softly.

"Keep still or it won't be accurate." I said.

He did as told and I pulled it from his mouth, frowning at the temperature.

"You have a high fever. I'll stay with you."

"You don't have to do that." Xinder said, sitting up. "It happens all the time."

"Are you sickly?" I asked.

"Not necessarily… I just get these bouts of fever every once in a while. Mother said it's because I don't let out my anger and I weaken myself with stress but… I don't really know what it is. I've dealt with it for a while now. I'm fine, truly; just go to work."

I watched as he seemed to ease his head back to the couch, the fever taking over. I made a face and knew what I had to do. I went back upstairs and grabbed a small booklet from my jacket pocket and went back downstairs to pick up the phone. It rung for a moment, when the lady at the switchboard asked who was calling.

"This is Colonel Roy Mustang, calling from an outside line."

"May I have your code please?"

"Alpha-20-Echo-Romeo-66."

"I've verified your code, where do you wish to be directed to?"

"My office."

He heard the lady switch the cables so that he could be connected to his office.

"Colonel Mustang's office, Lieutenant Hawkeye speaking."

"Hey, Hawkeye, it's me."

"Colonel. You're late." She said automatically.

I frowned. "I know and I won't be coming in either."

"Why?"

"Xinder is sick, so I'm going to stay with him."

"Is this a tactic to get out of work, sir?"

"No, _Lieutenant_, it isn't. Would you like to come down here and check for yourself if you're so damned suspicious?"

"Later, since there is work to be done."

"While you're at it, can you see if you can find some Xingese herbs or something to help him out?"

"Really, Colonel?"

"I told you that I'm not making it up, so if you insist on coming down here, make yourself useful and get me something to help."

"I'll see what I can do."

She hung up the phone and I looked at Xinder, who was staring at me. I walked over and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Come on, Xinder, you can sleep in my bed."

"I'm fine where I am and I don't _need_ you." He said rather harshly.

"You're _not_ fine and you will sleep better in the bed." I said softly. "Don't be difficult."

Xinder sighed but let me help him up and he leaned on me.

"You'll be more comfortable up here. Is there anything I can do for you? Is there a tea that I can make that can help or something?"

"No and no. Just let me be…" he mumbled in my sleeve.

Well, he was an irritable sick person. He must get that from me… I put him on the bed and he wrapped himself in the covers quickly, balling up. I decide that it will take Riza a while before she gets here to make sure I'm not lying so I put on my other coat.

"I'll be back. I'm going to get some ingredients to cook something for us both."

He just moans and I left the house. I'm not that great at cooking, but I know how to at least make a halfway decent stew.

* * *

**Xinder**

I don't understand what the Colonel is trying to pull. He acts like he wants to care for my wellbeing when all he wants to do is get rid of me. Even after Ed and Al left for their little journey, he still says I'm supposed to stay with them. Now, I'm sick, and he leaves me alone… I can't wait to go back home and be with my own people… Although these atrocious fevers were getting in my way. Even after five years, we still don't know why I get them all of a sudden. There is no other symptom, just a strength sapping and annoying fever that takes over me every once in a while. They're also not frequent enough to cause for concern nor do they have a pattern to reveal a definite cause.

Now I have to rely on that bumbling idiot to help me out… he couldn't help himself out of a wet paper bag… Can't even make his own breakfast… No… that's not true… He's actually be very kind to me considering the circumstances and I know he's trying… I sigh and mentally slap myself for thinking so ill of him. _I'm_ the one that inconvenienced _him_, not the other way around. I came to his one person home with the silly notion that he'd have thought ahead for some reason and got an apartment with more rooms. That was idiotic on my part. He's doing everything he can to be accommodating and I haven't exactly said I didn't like cooking for him…

I know what I must do now… As soon as I get better, before Ed and Al get back, I must do what I came here to do. It is the least I can do for the Colonel…

* * *

**Roy**

I walked back in with ingredients for stew and went to the kitchen, trying to remember how it went exactly.

"Let's see… potatoes, celery, carrots… beef… that looks about right. I'm sure I'm missing some other stuff but we'll make do with what I have."

I set to making the stew, hoping this would be enough for the both of us.

As the stew simmered, around noon, there was an expected rap on my door and I opened it to find Riza. She was also holding a bag.

"I found some Xingese things for you. The lady at the market said these were good as well as leaks."

"I can at least add them to the stew I'm making."

Riza seemed surprised as she walked in and I gave her a cocky smile.

"What, didn't think I knew how to cook?"

"You've tried but you've always failed."

"I resent that."

"Where is Xinder?"

"Upstairs in my bed."

"Does he have a cold?"

"No, he said it's something that just happens. He's not sure why."

Riza went upstairs to check on my alibi as I added leaks and whatever this other thing was into the soup.

"Alright, I believe you." She said, coming down the stairs.

"You have little faith in me."

"Sometimes."

I made a face at her and she smiled a little.

"I will leave you to taking care of your son. Tell him to get better soon. You have a ton of work to do."

I nodded and stirred the soup.

* * *

**so xinder has some issues with how he thinks of roy and stuff. he knows it's not roy's fault but he can't help thinking it is. anyway, this is the calm before the storm so... and that's not roy's real number. he has one i just remember what it is and i don't know what the other veggie is. make a guess**


	7. Tolled Twice

**Xinder**

I finally got everything that I needed. The Colonel was going to be gone on a mission and the Elrics weren't here to get into anything. Ms. Hawkeye always went with the Colonel so I should be relatively safe. I took my ingredients down to the basement and began to draw my circle. I was so excited that my hand was trembling and was making the circle all wobbly. I hoped that didn't't make a difference… Once my circle was done, I clapped my hands of the chalk and made sure that I had everything. I was so nervous but I knew that I could do it. With the combination of alchemy and alkahestry, I _knew_ I could get this right. It couldn't rebound!

I breathed in deep and began to mix all of the ingredients together until it turned into a big clump of mud or something and I smiled at it. It may not have looked like much but God made humans out of the dust of the earth. This was what we were made of and if we didn't have a form, we would look like this too…

That being said, I pulled out a small bag of some hair. I had planned this out as soon as she got really sick and the doctors said that there was no hope for her. I cut some of her hair off and kept it because I had heard of people trying this before; but I found it odd that they never used the _actual_ biological makeup of the dead person as the main factor. That being said, I didn't think I'd mess this up at all! Although, I _did_ put one drop of blood of my own just in case the hair wasn't going to be enough of a biological bind and since I was half of my mother, I'm sure what the hair lacked (if it did) the blood would make up for it.

I went to the outside of the array and looked at my handiwork for a moment. I smiled, so happy that I'd be able to see her again. I just _knew_ it was going to work. I put my hands on the circle and pressed down, the array barely lighting up, when I heard the door rattle.

"Xinder?"

What the hell?! WHAT THE HELL?! Why was Mustang here?!

"Xinder, are you in there?"

"Y-yeah!" I yelled, still pressing on the array so it will stay active.

It seemed to be taking a little more time since I was trying to do alchemy and alkahestry at the same time.

"What are you doing in there?"

"Nothing! Why are you home?"

"The mission got canceled. I wanted to know if you wanted to go with me to eat or anything… Why is the basement door locked?"

"I'm just… uh… doing something important!"

The array finally got really bright and I saw the blob of ingredients begin to form into a shape. I heard the door open but I ignored it, focusing on the form. I'll get her back! Mom, we'll get to go home…

"Xinder, what are you doing?!" I heard the Colonel yell.

I ignored him, seeing my array getting brighter and the ingredients forming into a woman and I grinned at my success when something felt wrong.

"Xinder! What are you doing?!" I heard Mustang yell. "Oh my god… Xinder, what have you done?"

Mustang suddenly yelled and I looked over as his body began to break apart and flew into the array. That wasn't right! What in the world? I looked down and I was doing the same thing. I screamed and felt as if I were being pulled down into my own array.

* * *

When I opened my eyes, I looked and found a huge door with odd writings on it and turned again, finding a figure looking at me. It grinned and pointed at me.

"You're a tricky one." He said, smiling bigger. "You were pretty close but you can't fool me."

"Who _are_ you?"

"Me? It depends on who you are. Some people call me the Universe, the World, God… others call me Truth. You're a naughty little fellow, trying to combine two things at once to make a loophole to the taboo." He tsked and wagged a finger. "For shame."

The sound of the doors opening caught my attention and I looked behind me. Black spindly hands came out of the Gate and pulled me into it.

* * *

Once inside, I felt like all the information in the world was being crammed into my brain all at once. I could see everything, feel everything, I even saw a small glimpse of what I had done wrong with my human transmutation. Ah! If I could just go more toward it!

"Eager little thing, aren't you?"

I turned back and pointed at the door.

"Take me back in! I have to see the rest of it!"

"Your time is up, kid."

"What…" I looked back and was surprised to see the Colonel standing there, bright red blood illuminating in his skin. "Mustang? What are you doing here?"

"You're a selfish thing, aren't you?" he said to me.

I blinked in confusion and was suddenly back in the basement, where I almost passed out on the floor I was so weak. I coughed, blood erupting from my mouth and I felt like my heart was going to explode. I heard a gurgling noise and looked up, seeing a grotesque mass of flesh reaching toward me. I tried to sit up but it was a harder task than I thought it would be.

"Colonel? Colonel, are you there?" I looked around but I didn't see him. "Colonel?" I looked down and saw the Colonel's clothing but no Colonel.

I gaped in horror at what I'd done. _"You're a selfish thing, aren't you?"_ Mustang had asked while I was at the Gate… oh no… NO! My selfishness got Mustang literally dragged into this! He didn't deserve to die! Not like this!

I screamed and grabbed one of the pins off of his uniform and began to etch my array into my body.

"Bring him back! He wasn't supposed to be a part of this! BRING HIM BACK, DAMN YOU!"

I transmuted myself and ended up back in front of Truth again.

"Well, well, just couldn't get enough, huh?"

"Give him back to me! Give Mustang back! He had nothing to do with this! He wasn't even supposed to be here!"

"You want to try and do _two_ taboos in one day, kid?" the figure asked, frowning.

"I give you whatever you want! Take my whole body, my soul, my mind, my heart! I don't care! Mustang wasn't supposed to be here… He wasn't supposed to be taken away…"

Truth smiled. "You don't have a lot of blood left; are you sure you want me to take something else away just for that guy? I mean, your selfishness caused him to be a toll."

"And my selfishness will bring him back!" I held out my arms. "Take whatever you want. Just bring him back."

Truth grinned. "You're the second person that's ever been willing come back for someone, although you're a bit different."

I felt myself being pulled in to the Gate again and more knowledge was stuffed into my brain until I was screaming in agony over the thoughts I was given. This time when I got back, I was bawling from so much knowledge.

When I looked up, the figure was white but seemed to have half of his body look like flesh.

"This is your toll."

* * *

I could hear someone calling my name but I didn't know who it was. I was floating between life and death, consciousness and unconsciousness. I felt different but I didn't know why…

Mustang, I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…

* * *

**a small explanation: from what i read, truth takes its own EE. **

**in xinder's case, it took mustang and half of xinder's blood supply. he will always be extremely anemic and weak. the toll of the blood supply is the xingese blood he was so proud of, thinking he could fool truth with a mixture of the two alchemies. **

**now, taking mustang: truth took mustang because xinder's selfish desire for his mother made him blind to mustang's attempts to be a good father. he always viewed mustang as trying to throw him away. because xinder put his blood in there, technically half of mustang's DNA was in the mix. truth took mustang as the other half of xinder's toll in that he now had NO ONE to care for him.  
**


	8. Something To Come Back To

**ps: i realize riza is ooc. she has good reason. this shant be a normal thing**

* * *

**Edward**

When Riza called me, I wasn't sure of what she was saying. I'd never heard the Lieutenant sounding so out of character like she was on the phone. She was frantic and seemed like she was scared for her life. I told Al what was going on and he agreed that we should go over to the Colonel's apartment – the only thing I _could_ understand out of Lieutenant Hawkeye- and get there quickly. His apartment wasn't too far away from ours and so we ran there as quick as possible.

There was already some military personnel there and Al and I looked at each other.

"Brother, what's going on?"

"I dunno, Al, but it looks pretty serious. Come on and let's see why the lieutenant was acting so odd."

Al nodded and we went into the apartment after showing my watch for verification. We got in and found Lieutenant Hawkeye on the couch with a glass of water and most of the Colonel's personnel was there. Upon seeing Edward and Alphonse, Havoc walked over.

"What's going on here, Havoc? We got a weird call from Hawkeye…"

Havoc looked downcast and I become more concerned.

"Havoc?"

"The colonel is… We don't know where he is."

"What do you mean? He told us that he was coming straight home to check on Xinder and maybe take him out to dinner at a Xingese restaurant or something… What do you mean you don't know where he is?"

Just at that moment, Fuery walked up, holding a folded up uniform that looked oddly familiar. I could feel Al stiffen beside me as he realized what I just realized.

"Brother, that's… that's the Colonel's clothing."

"We found it in the basement along with a young man that Hawkeye indicated was the Colonel's son, Xinder. He was… well… he was on death's door and was sobbing. The only thing he would say was, 'Dad I'm sorry I was so selfish. Please come back.'"

I looked at Al as he looked at me and I looked at Havoc.

"What… what else was down there?"

"You don't want to know-"

"I HAVE TO KNOW!" I screamed.

"Brother!"

I pushed past everyone and bee lined to the basement. I took the stairs two at a time as I raced down and almost fell down when I saw what I saw.

"No… No! Oh my god! No!" I screamed, walking slowly to the array.

I knew this array like the back of my hand. I had studied it so hard and long to get it just perfect… this… this _hopeless_ array.

"Brother what-" I heard Alphonse gasp as he saw it too. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Yeah… I told Mustang that I had a sneaking suspicion that Xinder was going to do human transmutation. I told you too and no one believed me. Well look now!" I growled, pointing. "I guarantee you a rebound happened and Mustang on caught up in it… just like when you did Al."

"Then is… is the Colonel's soul bound up like Al's?" Havoc asked.

"I dunno. Do you see anything moving on its own? Where is Xinder?"

"They took him to the hospital. He was in rough shape."

"I need to speak with him _now_."

Havoc nodded and got someone to call for a car to come get us and take us to the hospital.

* * *

"Brother, are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, what if-"

"What if nothing. I _told_ that bastard that his son was doing something weird and he didn't listen. Neither did you. I told you too."

"Now you're blaming me?" Al said a little angrily.

"No… I'm not… I'm just… angry…"

We got to the room that Xinder was supposed to be in and suddenly I hesitated. I knew what it felt like to have people yelling at me about the idiot thing I did with Al, making me feel small for just wanting the selfish childish need to see my mother again… I knew how much I hated it and how much it just made me feel like an even bigger failure: for not only did I not get to bring my mother back, I forced my brother's soul into a suit of armor and destroyed my body in the process.

"Brother?"

"I can't yell at him… It would go against everything…"

"Then take a deep breath and then go in."

I did as Al said and breathed in deeply. I even counted in my head and opened the door. When I opened it up, I saw Xinder laying there in the bed, a look of pain on his face and I saw the bandages. Oh god there were so many… I walked over to him and swallowed, touching his shoulder a little. He woke up almost immediately and when he saw me, his eyes began to tear up.

"Edward."

"I saw what you did, Xinder." I said calmly, even though my insides were raging.

He didn't even try to hold back the tears that he began to cry.

"He wasn't supposed to be there! I never wanted anything to happen!"

I touched his shoulder to comfort him and he still sobbed.

"Xinder, what happened? You have to tell me where Mustang is."

"I don't _know_! That's what I'm saying! He was supposed to give him back but he didn't! He just… he was supposed to give him back…"

"Who?"

"Truth!"

I closed my eyes, bringing the chair from the wall over so that I could talk to him on common ground.

"You saw the truth?"

"Yes. I saw what I was supposed to do, what I messed up on… but now I can't even remember what it was."

"Xinder, tell me exactly what happened. Tell me what you remember."

Xinder shook, probably from the pain and he licked his lips, trying to think.

"I made the transmutation circle and was going to use alchemy and alkahestry to bring my mom back. I thought the combination would make for better chances… You guys were supposed to be on a mission so that's why I chose yesterday to do it. I wasn't expecting him to come home at all, lest come into the basement. The door was locked and when he got there, I had already started the array… He came down the stairs and I saw him being sucked in and then I was sucked in. I saw the truth and then that… that thing said, 'You're a selfish thing, aren't you?' and then I was sent back.

"When I got back, I was weak and Mustang was gone. I realized what had happened and I told Truth to take whatever he wanted, just bring Mustang back… he didn't deserve to be sacrificed. But… but it looks like it's all for naught. Mustang is gone and I killed him. I made him get swept away in my array and now… Now he's gone…"

I clenched my hands in anger and sorrow but kept my cool for Xinder. I know how scared and upset he is, knowing he made someone lose their life. I was confused though because Truth is pretty good at his word. It would have done _something_ to Mustang's body and soul…

"I'm sorry, Edward… I know I shouldn't have done it. I just… I just wanted to see my mother's face again. I just wanted to feel her touch. I just wanted to go home."

I couldn't be mad at him anymore. He was five years ago. All he wanted was to see his mother's smile… just like we did. I sighed and touched his face, where he had his- I finally looked at him to see what had been taken.

"Truth just took your arm?"

"No… he took my arm, my leg, my eye, and half my blood supply. I'll always be weak and now I'm only half of a person… Just that one drop of blood…"

"What do you mean?"

"I had hair from my mother but just in case it didn't bind well, I put just one drop of my own blood in there. Truth took Mustang because I was half of him."

I gaped at him. "So you technically did _two_ human transmutations? One to bring your mother back and the other to bring Mustang back from the Gate?"

He nodded and I stood up, not being able to handle it anymore.

"Xinder, there's no _hope_ for Mustang now! You're supposed to… you have to have something for his body to come back to! If you don't have something for it to come back to then what was the point?! You sacrificed your half of your body for absolutely nothing!"

The door opened and Alphonse walked in, grabbing me.

"Brother! Stop yelling at him!"

"He killed him! He killed Mustang!"

I don't remember much after that. He killed Mustang… he just… let him die…

* * *

**SOMEWHERE**

I don't know where I am… What's going on? Why does no one hear what I'm saying? I'm trying to speak and no one will hear me. I can see but no one will listen.

"My, my, little blob of dirt. You look like you're having a bit of trouble there."

I look to where I think the voice is coming from and can just make out a talking palm tree? Odd…

"You look like you need a place to go and a little explanation. Here, have some of these. They'll make you feel brand new."

I hear something fall and can make out bright colored gems. I reach out but it doesn't feel like a hand and shovel the stones into my mouth, although it doesn't feel like I have a mouth.

"Good job. You're learning quick. Now, just a few more of those beauties and you'll be right as rain. It's a shame to have just left you out here… No one ever tries to take responsibility of what comes back when they do the taboo. Humans are such _fickle_ creatures…"

It seems to make sense. My state of being, my confusion… I was abandoned. Am _I_ human? I don't think so… I have to agree with the talking palm tree: humans seem like such fickle creatures.

I hope I never meet one.

* * *

**so i looks like the palm tree is going to help a poor unfortunate blob. wonder what will happen from there... and edward tried so hard to justify everything, even comparing he and xinder but that last part... realizing that xinder didn't even think to try and bind mustang to something just pissed him off so much. not everyone can think THAT logically, edward. their daddies aren't philospher's stones mkay?**


	9. The Exchance Policy

**Alphonse**

Edward was so angry at Xinder but we couldn't blame him for anything that he did. He was desperate just like we had been so long ago; just lonely. He made a mistake… but then again, Ed had the right to be angry too. I think he was more angry at the fact that the Colonel was caught up in this mess, sacrificed for no more of a reason than just 'he was there when it happened'. If Xinder had known that Mustang was going to go into that room, he would have never done the transmutation, I know in my heart of hearts.

Just like Ed would have never done the transmutation we did if he had known it would have taken my body…

"I'm going to talk to him." I said, standing up.

"What for?"

"To smooth over your rant."

"He _needed_ that rant just like Mustang gave me one five years ago! People who are as stupid and me and him need someone to knock a few good words into our brain." He growled, pointing at his head. "If not me, then who?"

"Well Mustang didn't do it right after you did it."

"No but I was still guilty and in a wheelchair at the time with one arm and one leg, looking like a pitiful invalid. He sparked fire into me, the bastard."

"Xinder isn't you, Brother. He's much more sensitive. I'm going to just talk to him."

Edward sighed but didn't say anything else.

I walked to Xinder's hospital room and opened the door, knocking on it a little.

"Can I come in?"

Xinder looked over at me for a second and then turned away.

"Are you going to yell at me too? I've gotten it about three times already."

"No… I figured you would get tired of it…" I walked in and sat in the chair beside the bed. "I just wanted to tell you that I understand. I really do. Why do you think I'm in this armor?"

"Because you wanted it to become a fashion statement, right?"

"No… you were right the first time we met." I took the helmet off and leaned forward a little. For the first time in a while, I had someone who didn't scream at all about that fact. "Do you see that?"

Xinder looked at it and squinted his good eye.

"It's a blood seal."

"Exactly."

"I knew you were empty."

"I know but doing the taboo is not looked highly upon… especially if you failed." Xinder's eyes widened and I stuck my head back on. "We did the taboo as well and that's why I ended up in this body."

"So all that yelling and screaming… He's a hypocrite."

"No, he's upset. We realized after we did it how dumb we were to think it would work for us. As if we were the exception to the rule… just like you. To know someone would be as stupid as us made Brother angry. To know that Mustang was pulled into it (literally) made him even more mad. The fact that you didn't bind his soul… well…"

"Well how the hell was I to know that?!" Xinder yelled, tears falling from one eye. "I wasn't prepared for that at all! I was prepared to sacrifice any part of myself to get my mother back but… I never wanted anyone else involved."

"We understand, Xinder."

"I studied how to make the array, what I needed, and what I knew I was going to use. I knew what I would sacrifice if the time came but… Roy… he… God, why did he have to come back home?! Why couldn't I have been as smart as your brother and bound his soul?!"

I wasn't sure if there was a good enough answer for that. _Would_ it have been better if the Colonel was bound like me or is mercifully just that he wasn't? The answer is not good either way; a catch 22…

"How…" I looked up. "How have you coped? Do you hate him for what he did to you?"

I breathed in. "I could never hate him for what he did because it wasn't his fault. I was in on it too. We _both_ wanted our mother back and we both ended up sacrificing. How it happened my body was my sacrifice, I don't know…"

"Do you regret that Edward pulled back your soul?"

"I can't regret anything because my brother gave me a life. To regret this existence would be to ignore Brother's pain and determination. Brother is smart and surprisingly methodical when he's in a stressful situation. For anyone else, the situation would have ended up just like the Colonel, in regards to a missed opportunity. Of course, I think someone else would have just cried in agony rather than even try to get them back. But Ed somehow thought it all through in just a split second and used the blood seal to bind me.

"You had the right idea, except you didn't have anything to bind the Colonel with. If he had been, he wouldn't have regretted it either. He would have been thankful that you saved his life, soul bound or not."

"But I didn't. I screwed up and he's gone. Completely gone."

"There's nothing you can do about that now, Xinder. True, he's gone and you made a mistake, but you have to move on."

Xinder swallowed hard and turned away from me.

"I'll let you know when I know what that is… Thank you."

"For what?"

"Not yelling at me about how stupid I am."

I smiled, although he couldn't see it.

* * *

**Xinder**

Talking with Alphonse helped a lot. I was really appreciative that he didn't yell at me or tell me that I was stupid. I already knew I made a mistake and the growing amount of people who came to tell me how idiotic I had been overwhelmingly depressing. Knowing that I was the cause of Mustang's death… disappearance… whatever it was, was already weighing on me enough. There had to be a way to get Mustang back… I had so much knowledge from the Gate that was floating around in my head.

I looked down at myself and scoffed, looking away. I was literally half of a person. How was I ever going to do anything with half of a body and half of a blood supply? I'll be weak all my life because I can't produce enough blood for myself…

The door opened and I saw Edward walk in and turned away.

"I don't want to talk to you."

"I'm not coming to yell at you." He said, stopping beside me. "I came to offer a suggestion."

"Like what?"

"You're a mess, in shambles; I get that. I was like that too when we failed. I know what it's like to have the weight of someone else's life on your hands. How do you think I feel when I look at Al every day?" I looked back at him. "He can't eat, drink, feel, cry… He might be grateful but was it merciful of me to do it? I have to think about that every time I see him. But, I know for a fact that I will spend my life looking for a way to get his body back, and I won't give up. You gave up half of your body to get Mustang back and for some reason, there is nothing to show for that. Don't you think that's a little odd?"

"Well… yeah… but I mean, you guys said it before that it's because I didn't bind his soul to something."

"That might be true but Truth doesn't do an equivalent exchange unless something was actually exchanged. You have up half of your body, so where is the equivalent of that?"

I thought about it for a second as Edward leaned on the bed.

"You get it now? The other half of the exchange has to be somewhere, right?"

"Well… yeah…"

"So, you need to pull yourself together and find out what was given back to you."

"Are you saying it could have given a body back?"

"I don't know. I know that my arm was enough of a sacrifice for my brother's soul so… what would be enough for half of your body? Don't you think it's your job now to find out how to get an answer in regards to that?"

I nodded a little but looked down at myself.

"How am I supposed to do that with a body like this?"

"We have a friend who can help with that. She's an automail mechanic and will definitely hook you up with an arm and a leg. I don't know about optics though… it's a little tricky."

"I'd be okay without an eye… Do you really think something came back?"

"You can't sacrifice something for nothing, so there has to be something. What is was is what you need to find out."

I nodded, willing to go to the ends of the earth to find what came back… I had to…

"What do I need to do?"

* * *

**SOMEWHERE**

"Well, aren't you a surprise. I would have never guessed that this is your original form… You're kind of odd though…"

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice finally being heard.

"You're not like us…"

"Envy, stop scrutinizing him." A sexy voice said from the side.

The both of us looked over as the beauty in the corner glared at us in disgust.

"He's perfect the way he is. Give him a couple of years and we can mold him into something worth using. Besides, no one knows where he went, so they will be so happy when he returns…"

"Who am I?" I asked.

"Well, while you're with us, your name is Pride. But if you go to the outside world, where you will be anyway, your name is Roy Mustang. You're a colonel in the army… and our secret weapon."

Roy Mustang… I looked down at my hands, one a little off colored, as if it weren't mine… Was that my name? Why did I feel like I didn't belong with these people? I felt like I was alone… and the memories…

"Come on, 'Roy', we're going to tell you all about yourself." Envy said, putting his arm around my shoulders.

I walked with him but I didn't like him. I didn't like _any_ of these people…

* * *

**uh oh, it looks like roy is alive but he's now a homunculus! he is pride but he doesn't seem to like that fact. he's not the same as everyone else though... he's a different sort of homunculus... or is he really a homunculus at all?**


End file.
